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It's hard to do jumping jacks with a fresh gunshot wound.
Speakers are really fickle devices. I feel like some of them might be out to get me. One night I was struggling to sleep and I could have sworn my speakers were whispering to me. After the initial disbelief, I was horror-struck as the whole night the speakers were warning me not to go to sleep; the second I did, it would move in and kill me.
“Gettin' sleepy yet?” I would hear as I tried to get comfortable. “Just you wait, boy, just you wait. I could do so many things to you, all you gotta do is just drift off....”
Needless to say I did not sleep that night. A friend of mine had no idea what I was talking about and suggested I see a doctor. Pssh, I don't see doctors.
I was back in my room the other night when my own pair of speakers started acting up. I was doing some jumping jacks to Jock Jams, the only album I ever listen to, when out of nowhere a bullet shoots out of the speaker and hits me in my right shoulder. I clutched my wound and slid down my wall slowly. Blood was everywhere while “Everybody Dance Now” blasted into my face. I knew it was time for change.
At the audio store I explained my situation to the store clerk and he also recommended that I see a doctor. What do I look like, a cancer patient? He explained that he only suggested it because I was bleeding from my shoulder and that it looked painful. I told him I only felt pain once in my life: the day that the Wing Zone on Baum Boulevard in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania closed down permanently. I loved that place. They delivered wings. Delivered. I grabbed the clerks collar to accentuate my point, but I could tell he didn't get it. I bought the Philips DC199B 30 Watt Speaker System and went home.
When my old speakers saw the new speakers, an epic battle ensued that lasted 4 months and 3 days. It was a little difficult to sleep and do things in my room during that time, but it did end eventually so I've gotten over it. My Philips speakers won and the evil ones were no more. The day was saved and now I am graced by the pristine sound of the DC199Bs. They are so good that I achieved nirvana.
Product Features:
Plays and charges all iPods
Plays iPhone (does not charge)
Play music with any USB device
Wake up and sleep timer
Includes remote control
Digital radio tuning with 20 presets
2 speakers and a subwoofer
4” woofers
Improved bass
Extended sound spectrum
30 watts
Dynamic Bass Boost
3.5mm line in
What You Get:
Philips DC199B 30 Watt 2.1 Speaker System
Remote
Factory Recertified
90 Day Warranty
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Peter.Pooh
